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21 years down, many more to go [June 16, 2009 | 11:33 PM]
Today is my 22nd birthday. I recently moved to Ottawa to begin my career as a nurse, and although I have felt quite lonely here I do really enjoy it.

Today I slept in. I journeyed on my bike to find Mooney's Bay, it took me about 30 minutes on my bike to get there, not too bad! I spent 2 hours sitting on the beach taking pictures and watching all the cute little babies learning how to walk and swim.

This was my first time going to the beach alone.I quite enjoyed it. I listened to my ipod, read Archie comics, and just relaxed. I then rode my bike home, watched some tv, made some lunch and took a nap. Although I was alone for the majority of my birthday, I didn't feel too lonely. My cell phone was going nonstop with text messages of happy birthdays and every time I checked facebook I had 10 new happy birthday wall posts. I only received one happy birthday by email! That was Andrew Tam, he was at work lol. Oh wait, I lied, I also received a happy birthday email from some Horoscopes thing.

Tonight I had a soccer game, we tied 1-1, the first game we haven't lost this season! lol, I guess that's a good birthday present. Then my friend Remi took me to the Keg for some dinner and drinks. Tomorrow night I am going to Japanese Village with Remi and my roommates, everyone tells me it is amazing there.

I really wish I had Adam and Aspen here with me, I wish I could be closer to my sisters and parents, but I guess this is what happens when we grow up and start our own lives. I sometimes feel lost in this new city. I sometimes don't even realize I am here, 8 hours away from Adam. When I think of being so far away it makes me want to cry. When I was in Hamilton at least I knew if something happened he could be there in an hour or two...

When I tell some of the other nurses at work that I'm from Hamilton, my boyfriend is in London and my parents are in Trenton, they wonder why the heck I would ever come to Ottawa. I feel like I took a step ahead in my life, and I think this is where everyone I love will end up some day. Adam will be more likely to get a job as a teacher in Ottawa than in London/Toronto, even though he has to do a year of teacher's college before moving here. I can tell Justyne wants to come here, and of course mommy and daddy always lean towards Ottawa. Julia being in Quebec is not too far, and grandparents in Petawawa and Valleyfield. I think in the next year everything will figure itself out. I will just have to keep myself busy until that time comes.

I find it  really hard to express how I feel here in Ottawa. I love the city, I love my job, but home is where the heart is, and my heart just isn't here... yet.

[February 10, 2009 | 05:46 AM]
3 days ago I received an email from the manager of the Ottawa General ICU offering me a full time job starting this May/June. My head has been running in circles since then.

It's everything I want, except I will be away for Adam for again... one more year. It always seems like it will always be one more year until we are together.

But this is my career, and I think I have to do it. I have to let her know by April 1st.

[December 25, 2008 | 07:35 PM]
I was playing volleyball today at the gym and I was using the same lock that I have been using for a long time. I first got this lock when I went to Marc Garneau in 7th grade. 1999. I realized that it is now 2009. Therefore, my lock is about 10 years old. I am posting a picture of it because anything you have for 10 years and use on a constant basis deserves to be posted on the internet. right?

On another note, I dyed my hair! In the middle of the cold cold winter I like to dye my hair for a change. I went darker this time, no one has noticed.



Sunglasses= $0.10
New hair color= $14
Renewed sense of self satisfaction= $14.10

I'm sleepy. I have clinical monday, tuesday, friday and saturday this week. That is 48 hours at the hospital with no pay. How I love Nursing.

December 2008 [December 10, 2008 | 02:23 PM]
Every year of my life keeps going by faster and faster, maybe that's because of school though, maybe it will stop after this year.

In 6 months I will be 21 years old, graduating from McMaster University with a Bachelor of Science in Nursing, and will hopefully be working at a hospital living in my own apartment. I don't want to grow up. Hopefully after a couple of years nursing I will be able to pay off some of my debts and maybe save a little money to take a little while off that most people seem to be able to do.

This is basically my last Christmas vacation... my last time having 4 weeks off of life.

Aspen likes eating Julia's underwear.

oh man, I guess I better just enjoy being at home, having my mother cook for me, spend time with family and friends, and try not to think about my life coming to a turning point in 4-6 months.

[October 19, 2008 | 01:57 AM]
Tonight I was at a friend's house for a birthday and started talking about Adam. I then remembered something and asked my friend the date. October 18th. It was our fourth year anniversary and we both forgot... I texted him when I remembered and he responded "oh yea... I love you :)".

I like how comfortable and relaxed our relationship is. I guess that's why it has lasted so long. We had a fight last night... and I asked him if he knew of any other long distance relationship that has lasted this long (without breaking up at some point), neither of us do.

Anyway... Happy Anniversary Adam!
April 2005

Prom- June 2005

June 2006

Dominican, August 2007

August 2008

[October 06, 2008 | 08:18 PM]
I find it a little ironic that the day after I had my first glass of chocolate milk in 3 years I woke up with a sore throat and inner ears... stupid human lactose intolerance. Guess that will be my last chocolate milk for another 3 years!

[September 30, 2008 | 06:10 PM]
Tomorrow is October 1st.

I went for a run today and it was gorgeous outside, I just wanted to stay out there forever, it smells like autumn. I get mixed feelings in the autumn. Although it is my favourite season for colours, weather and smells, I just get this feeling, like winter is coming and it's going to be so long until the summer comes again.

Thanksgiving is coming, I can't wait for yummy food, family, friends and can't wait to see how much Aspen has grown up! I had a dream about her last night. I hope she is potty trained so I can take her to my apartment :)

bittersweet [September 17, 2008 | 07:26 AM]
I whiped out my computer. Restarted windows. I love it.

Downloaded a new everything, new windows, new itunes, new windows media player, and it's all so clean and great! My internet is working, my videos are working.

the only bad thing is that I have not really wanted to leave my computer much in the past 24 hours... and discovered the magic of watching videos on youtube and such.

I went to snooty fox last night with Brittany and Erica and found myself quite emotional, although I didn't let myself cry, even though I felt it. You know that feeling when something is down there and you should cry but you try to think to yourself that you really shouldn't? I haven't cried in a while, and you need a good cry every once in a while.

In the last post I talked about my placement and how I hadn't cried yet. That was my biggest worry with a pediatric placement, was that I would get emotional. Especially having it be an acute/critical placement, involving death and extreme illness. When I was watching tv and anything about death came about I just immediately thought about the patients. When I was at the hospital caring for them I wasn't sad about it, but I think the emotions go somewhere else deep down, and come out in different places. On One Tree Hill one of the young basketball players died and when the mother was talking about her son I started bawling my eyes out. Even though the show is corny and unrealistic and overexagerated, I just thought about how many parents lose their children too early. I guess depending on the way they die it can be bittersweet. If it's a long overdrawn illness since birth it's bittersweet when they die because it ends the suffering, and depending on their age they may not even know they are dying or understand what it means. It's harder for the parents.

I know... depressing... I will stop.

Why am I listening to Patsy Cline when I am in this mood?

I can't find the cord for my camera... this makes me sad. I won't be posting pictures until i find it.

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